Reflections

Becoming Dinosaurs

2011-11-14T00:30:00.006-06:00

A couple of years ago, we had the opportunity to attend a Mission Canada Summit at Humber College, in Guelph Ontario. The keynote speaker talked to us about Reverse Mentoring.

We often think of mentoring in terms of the older and experienced, teaching or showing the way to the young and inexperienced. The fact of the matter is that mentoring in todays world needs to go both ways.

In reality anyone over 40 needs to have the humility to realize the younger have alot to teach us. We need their perspective on the social and cultural nuances of the age we are living in. So when it comes to reverse mentoring I have found the best way to approach it is to 'just ask'. Be prepared to learn, be prepared to have your values, your prejudices and your world view challenged and altered. It's not about staying young, being hip and cool it's about realizing that things move faster than ever before. It doesn't take 80 years to become a dinosaur anymore.

Prayer Rooms

2011-05-13T23:13:00.002-05:00

This week I had a conversation with a pastor who took on a significant challenge. He cleaned out the church basement. Among his findings was a small room piled full of junk. On the walls were some maps and other items that made him realize that people used to pray in that particular room. During those years it would seem the church grew and things went pretty well.

Over the years the little room that people used to pray in became a storage room. I am sure it all started innocently. However, as the junk increased in the prayer room the spiritual junk increased in the church.

Something to think about.

Is Honour still in?

2011-05-12T14:01:00.001-05:00

Jim Molloy, in a recent article he wrote in his Districts newsletter says, "There are a few areas where I think we have departed from the way things used to be--to our detriment. One of these is the way we honor one another and those in authority among us. From child to parent, parishioner to pastor, peer to peer, employee to boss, dishonor is rampant in our society. We live in a culture of dishonor. Roasting and lampooning leaders is a common practice. Often we are experts at faultfinding. We think we are helping by pointing out these flaws but it has harmful effect."

Molloy goes on to say, "the way in which we speak about, or act around another person testifies of whether or not we honor them. I believe that honor should be given to everyone: including those we work with, work for, and who work for us."

Well said.

Indeed we live in a culture where we falsely believe the playing field is level and we are all equals or peers. I don't think this is consistent with what the scriptures teach. Romans 12:10 reminds us to "honor one another above ourselves". I Timothy 5:3 tells us to honor widows, honor elders (vs 17), honor the elderly (Lev. 19:32) and we are told to honor our parents (Eph. 6:1-3).

Is dishonor rampant in society? What do you think?

Burnout--The gift that keeps on giving

2011-05-10T23:22:00.006-05:00

I remember reading a periodical on burnout within the first few months of ministry some 28 years ago. Burnout was a hot new topic back then and was starting to show up among clergy in increasing numbers.

It was several years later when I encountered it personally. I was fortunate that it was caught in time before any lasting effects were realized. It was enough of an experience or close call that it did teach some lessons.

Burnout is something that can be avoided, here are a few things that may help to avoid it or in some cases assist in recovery:

1. Control your commitments each day
It is essential during the day to have alone time to refuel and refresh.
Back to back commitments, phone calls and meetings can be very wearing.
Schedule in unscheduled, uncommitted time each day.

2. Control Technology
Sometimes it is necessary to give yourself a break from technology. Some have done this by taking lengthy breaks from Tweeting or Facebook. Others limit the use of their smart phones and set parameters around when they will respond, when it will be off or on and have simply dialed back on availability. Face it, even Jesus withdrew from the crowds. It is just using wisdom to know we have limitations and live within them. There is nothing wrong with saying,"these are my office hours, please contact me during them. "

If someone has made the effort to stop in to your office to see you or go for lunch or coffee, it is simply rude to take a call with them sitting there. It reduces stress if we deal with one topic and one person at a time.

Another thing that may help is to not have call waiting. Something about it shoots my blood pressure up when I am engaged in a conversation and someone feels the need to call me three times in 2 minutes and interrupt the call with their never ending beeps. I don't know what the rule book says about putting someone on hold in the middle of a conversation but it likely says it is rude.

Another tip, is this, if you are going to lug a laptop home after a full days work to do even more work, you need to get a life. You really ought to be investing that time in fun, recreation, relaxation, family or friendship.

3. Control your workload
It is essential to be able to control how much work you take on. The ability to say "no" to a boss or a colleague and a firm but pleasant explanation as to why you cannot take on more work will keep you healthy and sane.
One of the most dangerous places we can find ourselves is being in the place where we have no control over how much work we take on as we enable others around us to do less.

4. Keep the Sabbath or keep a Sabbath--doesn't need an explanation

5. Listen
If you hear your spouse, children, parents, friends or acquaintances using phrases such as:
Are you okay?
I am worried about you.
When is the last time you took a day off, a holiday?
You never have time for us.
What do you do beside work?
If you hear these things consider them the voice of God. He is using people to get your attention. Listen, ask questions like, "What are you observing about me? or Do I seem stressed? Why are you concerned? What makes you say that?"

If you do these things it is likely that in a matter of a few short days you will feel happier, rested and much more at ease.

If we are going to survive or thrive in this technologically charged fast paced world we need to continue to practice the discipline of taking back control and establishing boundaries and limits to live within.

Functional Athiests

2011-03-13T18:05:00.004-05:00

I have been working my way through a book about Christian Atheists. If you are like me, you may be thinking that it is impossible to be both Christian and Atheist. It is a definite contradiction in terms.

Yet as I weave my way through the pages of the book I recognize the author is picking up on some current trends among people who claim to have a belief in God, or would name Jesus Christ as their savior.

The trend is this; that although they state that they believe in God or claim that Jesus Christ is their savior there is little evidence of it in their lives. In other words their attitudes, the basis of their decisions, their thought processes, their moral choices or even their politics are mirrored in those of culture who may make no such claims or in some cases have no belief in God or in His existence.

This is an important topic that is worth serious consideration. Over the past few years I have often been left a little dumb-founded by those who are rightfully endeavoring to shake the bondage of legalism or a rules based faith. What has caught my attention is how far people are willing to carry this new found "freedom" to prove they are free. What can happen is there is a gradual disconnect between profession and practice that if taken to the extreme leads to living in this whole aspect of being Christian in profession while functioning as an atheist.

Please know my heart in this. I am not throwing stones at any one, nor is this in anyway meant to be interpreted as a self-righteous rant. We are all on this journey of faith, we may find ourselves in different places or spaces. However, this is a growing issue that demands and is worthy of our attention.

What are your thoughts?

What we write--tells more than one story

2011-02-20T17:01:00.008-06:00

It would appear that social networking is here to stay. What and how we write gives others a glimpse into who we are, our character and our interests. Others may formulate opinions or impressions of us based on our writing.

So here are some thoughts....

Chek you're speling an grammer
Potential employers, clients and a host of other people who matter read what we write. Leave the best impression. In the real world, it matters.

Remember it is www. not a personal diary
Everything we post really is on the Web. "What were you doing reading my post?" is an irrelevant question.

Be kind
Be kind about the people you post things about.

Analyze it before you send it
It is sometimes best to hit delete rather than send.

Use "G-Rated" language
Expletives show up on others home page. You are a 'friend' because others want to read your stuff. Please don't make them regret it.

Love is Grand
If it is personal or intimate keep it that way.

Be Careful
All of us run the risk of letting out too much information. A comment like, "On the way to the Dominican" may let the wrong person know your house is vacant for the next 7 days. A comment like flying to "Toronto for meetings" has just let a lot of people know your wife is alone with the kids. I bet you just surmised I am paranoid.

Happy posting.

Initiative

2011-02-17T11:46:00.004-06:00

First of all I want to sing the praises of Amazon's Kindle electronic reader. My wife bought me one the other day. Best invention ever! Not for everyone, but it works for me.

And so we continue....
A number of years ago I was speaking with a "Top Producer" real estate agent. He said, "Every morning I get up look in the mirror and say I have to get a job today." What he recognized was that the sales he made last week or even yesterday were in the past and his "job" was to go out and get more sales.

All of this takes initiative. No matter what our chosen field of work, service or ministry is, to be successful, we have to be initiators.
John Maxwell puts it this way, "If you want to achieve great things as a leader, you must be willing to initiate and put yourself on the line."

Being an initiator will take you places others will not go. People will shake their heads in wonder as to why you would take on a particular challenge, task or project. It will cause you to walk alone, it is lonely. Initiative will cost you personally. Initiators are driven by passion and vision and the real reward is the outcome they dream of. Initiators jump into action about the time everyone else gives up. Being an initiator is hard work and risky. It demands your time, attention, personal sacrifice, comfort and security. It will cost you all of that and more.

If you are going to be an initiator be prepared to be mis-understood. Not everyone will get on board with you. There will be many that question your sanity. Although you need to listen to the critical thinkers and the voices of reason (thank God for these people, we need them) you will need to process their thoughts and carry on.

Maxwell goes on to ask these questions:
Are you an initiator? Are you constantly on the lookout for opportunity, or do you wait for it to come to you? Are you willing to take steps based on your best instincts? Or do you endlessly analyze everything? Lee Iacocca said, "even the right decision is the wrong decision if it is made too late?"

May God give us more initiators.

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team

2011-02-13T18:35:00.005-06:00

Patrick M. Lencioni authored the book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable. It is an engaging story of some of the traps teams fall into as they endeavor to work together. The principles really are applicable in many contexts.

I am not going to get into all the book has to offer, but one of the quotes in the book stands out. "Politics is when people choose their words and actions based on how they want others to react rather than based on what they really think."

The downfall of using political language or withholding the real facts is that we may be setting people we care about up for future failure. I have done this and regretted it later in that I have robbed people of the opportunity to grow, or in some cases allowed a situation to get worse or out of control. The temptation to be kind may actually cause more damage.

Then there are times when my own frankness or honesty has created its own damage. Or it may hinder us from really hearing the other persons point of view. There are times when we need to just shut up, listen and learn.

In all of this I have to admit this is a daily learning and growing thing for me. I have deeply regretted the mistakes I have made on both sides of this issue. It is a daily challenge to find the balance and to do well in this. How about you, what are the secrets of your success?

10/50 List!

2011-01-12T12:30:00.000-06:00

The other day I made a comment to my wife about us being a 'Middle-Aged couple'. She quickly said, "Jim, you're past middle age." Very few people have the privilege of living to 100, so my wife is likely right.

So in anticipation of a significant birthday, I have put together a list of 10 things you should know by the time you hit 50!
Here is my 10/50 list:

1. We get in touch with our mortality--we realize we could actually die if we take stupid risks.
2. We begin to place a greater priority on our personal health, we don't take it for granted.
3. The future of our children matters more than our own.
4. Leave a positive legacy to be remembered by. Your kids will become you.
5. We value our life partner in a greater way and begin to cherish the time we have together.
6. We should invest in younger people--the returns are amazing.
7. Time counts
8. Have fun along the way--life won't wait for you--do stuff that brings you pleasure.
9. Have a personal relationship with Jesus-He gives hope, purpose, fulfillment, peace--how can that possibly be bad for anyone?
10. You can't change people. People change when they allow God to help them--you're not God.

Go ahead, add a few of your own insights in the comments section.

Shattered Faith

2011-01-06T10:50:00.000-06:00

This morning on my way into the office I tuned into a radio station and heard an artist sing these words, "I pray to a God I don't believe in." I have to admit that many years ago, while going through a particularly difficult period of time, I could have penned those exact words.

What feeds this uncertainty? How is that people who once "believed" find themselves in a state of unbelief? The issue may be that we may not have a strong theology or understanding of suffering. We equate the blessing of God, the nearness of God and the faithfulness of God with personal prosperity, favor, success or achievement. When things take reversals be it financial, health, or our success turns to failure we assume God has gone somewhere else to live.

Let me encourage you, if you are reading this and life is not anywhere near where you would dream of it being that it is highly unlikely that your suffering is because God has turned His back on you, or that He no longer loves you. You are not alone when you have to deal with doubt and uncertainty. As I read the scriptures it is in in the depths of despair that many found God to be most real, relevant and near. It is in those times many doubted His presence only to later discover that the words are true, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Hubris

2010-12-22T11:41:00.000-06:00

Hubris definition: Hubris (also hybris) means extreme haughtiness or arrogance. Hubris often indicates a loss of touch with reality and overestimating one's own competence or capabilities, especially for people in positions of power.

Jim Collins in his recent book "How the Mighty Fall" talks about the ingredients that go into the failure of companies. One of the first things he notes is Hubris born of Success. He outlines that one of the many things that goes into the failure of once great companies is this sense that they can do no wrong and that they are above failure. There is no doubt that leadership requires risk. It is the heart and spirit behind risk taking that is important.

It is an age old principle of pride coming before a fall. It is sad when the success of a leader causes them to fall into the trap of pride, arrogance and carelessness. Much better to remain humble remember from whence we have come.

Choices, Decisions and other stuff to keep you up at night

2009-04-29T22:37:00.000-05:00

If you lead others, you will be called upon to make decisions that affect other peoples lives. Here are 10 things I have learned about decision making:
1. Someone will always disagree and he/she is likely not in the room
2. When making a decision you will always be criticized by someone
3. No decision...is still a decision
4. If you want to make people happy you have to say Yes to everyone all the time
5. If you want to make people angry you have to say Yes to everyone all the time
6. People forget about our right decisions sooner than wrong decisions
7. Saying No to someone reveals more of their character than saying yes (try it on your kids)
8. Decisions cost
9. Decisions touch other peoples lives
10.Decision makers need wisdom

Now, go make a decision!

Leading Teams

2008-10-26T15:52:00.000-05:00

Want to be a better leader? Try these on for size and see if they work.

1. Encourage Opposition.

It is important to have on any team people who think different than the leader. People who question, doubt and criticize are not the enemy they are your friends. They will help you make wise, informed, well thought out plans and strategies. "Yes men" are dangerous and more of a threat to a leaders success because while he/she is making fatal errors they just nod in agreement.

2. Celebrate your Team Members Successes

It is startling how some lead pastors, churches and boards endeavor to call the best leaders possible and then put them down and keep them in their place. Here is a thought, if you as a leader are insecure or feel threatened by those below you, elevate them. Don't yield to the temptation to push them down, instead lift them up. By doing so you will be elevated in the eyes of those you lead. Put them down and you look small.

3. Look out for #2, 3 and 4!

The unwise leader looks out for #1. This fosters disloyalty and loss of respect. It is not about you, it is not what is best for you. Look out for the best of others.

4. Flatten the Structure
Empower those around you to be the leaders God calls them to be.

5. Create a Secure environment
A great team can handle failure, so long as it isn't brought on by sloth or stupidity. Healthy teams are environments where there is an utter lack of fear and intimidation.

6. Respect Others Intelligence
Great leaders don't have to be the smartest most intelligent members of the team. It is the unwise leader who has the need to always prevail in every meeting or conversation. It gets old after awhile.

7. Trust
Take the risk to trust people. Assign tasks and trust they will follow through. There is no point in having a team if you never trust them to do what they are supposed to.

8. Offer Praise
If you run out of things to say, why not try a few of these phrases: Good job. Great idea. Thanks. You did a terrific job. I am really proud of you. I really appreciate you.

9. Give away credit
You get more credit with others and with your team when you learn to give it away. Look for opportunities to give credit to your team. Look for opportunities to elevate them and promote them in the eyes of others. There is no room to write about the pay offs of doing this.

10. Lighten Up
Humor, a good laugh and the ability to have fun working with one another is not an option it is of utmost importance. In high demand, high stress atmospheres, it can mean survival!

Happy Team Leading!